Migration- Theodore Van Houten
Ian Welden,chileno desde Dinamarca
Essay on Nawal-el-Saadawi's creative and dissident life
poetry and displacement: Mois Benarroch
We went to a Jewish school, called El Ittihad Maroc. That was the official name of the school but everybody called it La Alianza, in Spanish; it was the first school opened by the Alliance Israelite Universelle in 1862 and became the first of an international Jewish network of schools called the Alliance Française that spread all through the Muslim world and beyond. The level of education was very high and we were prepared for the French baccalauréat. We were also taught many languages and had classes in English, Hebrew and Arabic. Curiously, we were not taught Spanish, although this was the mother tongue of all the pupils and most teachers. So, when the bell rang everybody switched to Spanish. I find this miraculous. Back in class it was forbidden to say a word in Spanish.
My childhood was very Jewish and I still lived in a city that respected the fact that Jews did not work on the Sabbath [Saturday]; business was built around it since many Jews had businesses in my home town Tetouan. The school, as I said, was also a Jewish school. Although there were also some Christians and Muslims, the immediate surroundings were also very Jewish.
We were a family of four children; I was the second, after my sister. I remember very well that we were always on the point of emigrating. The feeling was that we were not staying in Morocco. There was talk of emigrating to Spain, to Venezuela, to Canada. And of course, Israel where we finally settled in 1972, when I was 13.
Have your views about Israel changed in the time you have been living there?
My views about Israel have changed a lot. Despite so many years here I think I see Israel from the outside, I live on the outside. Of course I didn’t have a complete concept or point of view when I was 13. I thought I was coming to a spiritual and religious country where Jews loved each other. This was the naive point of view of a Jewish boy.
What other work do you do besides writing poetry?
Nowadays I am a full-time writer and translator. I have just published a new novel in Spain, Amor y Exilios. I translate novels. I was a clerk-accountant for 12 years in the past with a steady salary. I also worked for a few years in hotels before that. And I studied natural medicine and pratised for time years as a part time job. I liked the idea but I don’t think I was such a good therapist.
How did you become a writer?
I started writing poetry when I was 15, because of feeling isolated and unable to connect with my surroundings. The first poems were love poems to a girl I couldn’t talk to. That seems pretty normal. Isn’t it?
Since then I have never stopped writing. I may be imagining it but I am pretty sure that after writing my first poem I knew deep inside that I was going to be a writer, and for some reason I also knew that it would take a long time for my writing to be accepted. But since then I have never stopped writing and have even done so obsessively at some periods of my life, writing 18 hours a days. It was like if I stopped writing I would die. Maybe it still is. I didn’t stop. I tried a few times but it didn’t work.
Which poets, or other artists, have influenced your work?
There are many. I think that two of the most influential writers are Charles Bukowski and Edmond Jabes, which may look like a complete contradiction. But the main art form that has influenced me beside writing is that of the singer-songwriter. I actually started writing my first poems after listening to the likes of Bob Dylan, Neil Young and Jackson Browne. I even tried to compose music to my poems for some time. I also like movies, and I think that has influenced my novels. Some critics have pointed out that I use cinematic techniques
I have been influenced by many authors in many languages. Let’s start with Hebrew: Natan Zach, David Avidan, Erez Bitton, Zelda, Yona Wallach, Moshe Sartel and many others. From the French, besides Jabes, Cocteau, Breton, Rimbaud, Baudelaire, Blaise Cendrars and many others have influenced me. From the Spanish, mostly the Latin American poets like Neruda, Huidobro, Nicanor Parra and Gonzalo Rojas, all from Chile; then Borges, as poet and prose writer. The beatniks in general: Ginsberg, Burroughs, then Brautigan, Whitman, Ignatow. And as I said, Bukowski. I am probably forgetting many of them.
Your poems chosen for PIW focus on themes of belonging (e.g. ‘I went up to the Land of Israel’, ‘Suitcase’) and outsiderness (e.g. ‘Antipoetry’ and ‘Beans with Tabasco Sauce for Breakfast’). Can you comment on these motifs within your own poetry?
This is definitely the recurring theme in my writings. It spreads all over, from being an outsider as a Jew, or as a writer (and Edmond Jabes would say that every writer is a Jew) to feeling like a different kind of Jew and not really part of the mainstream of Judaism: that is being a Sephardic Jew. Maybe that’s what poetry is about: being outside, being different and writing a different poem.
Your work will be published on PIW alongside Esther Raab’s writings. Although Raab is considered to be the first female and Hebrew/native poet of (pre-state) Israel, she can also be viewed as somewhat of an outsider. What are your thoughts about this and about her writing? (Are all poets perhaps ‘outsiders’?)
I read Raab a long time ago and frankly she did not make much of an impression on me. I don’t think she is really an outsider; her books were in stores back in the 1980s. Maybe I was not impressed because I don’t like landscape poems. I also do not like early Israeli poetry before Zach, Avidan and Amichai. I think that in most cases the poets were trying to find a language, a Hebrew that they could hardly handle. That surely includes Bialik and Alterman. I consider Avidan to be the first great poet of the Modern Hebrew language, and the first sabra to write poetry. I am not saying Raab is not a good poet, but her influence was minimal. But this leads me to an interesting observation made by Professor Shlomo Elbaz, who noticed how many women poets there are in Israel. And although the boys play the big ego game, we have Lea Goldberg, great and important poets like Zelda, Yona Wallach, Amira Hess, Hedva Harkavi and countless other women poets in the first league of Israeli poetry. I don’t see that many in Spanish or French or British poetry; the USA fares better, but even a world leader in poetry like Chile has one Mistral compared with dozens of male major poets. I think this would be a good subject for a PhD. Compared to most countries I know the situation is unique.
As for outsiders: in Israel 20,000 poetry books are sold yearly. This means that poetry is the outsider. Not the poets. I don’t see myself as more of an outsider and I have had my share of recognition; 20,000 books is like one prose bestseller and many novels sell even more. So, a poet who has published a few books and has a hundred readers can consider himself recognized. More so if a dozen articles have been written about him. As a novelist I am marginalized, but that’s another story. And a long one.
What are your thoughts about the Josephus book, the history book written by Josephus in 70 AD? You recently wrote about a new Hebrew translation in the Haaretz newspaper.
I reread the book and wrote about it with the feeling that it was in fact completely irrelevant to our political reality of today. This must seem obvious to any European, but the problem is that in Israel there is a gap in political time; in every discussion someone tries to compare today’s political situation with something that happened 2000 or 3000 years ago in Judea or in this part of the world.
You are bilingual in Spanish and Hebrew, and very proficient in English. Do you feel some things are easier to write about in Hebrew and other things in Spanish? In other words, how does your multilingualism manifest itself in your life as a poet and in daily life?
I have written poetry in three languages and that’s not something I would recommend to anyone. It was a poetic need. It came out of the poems. I started writing poetry in English when I was 15, and did it for four years. Then I switched to Hebrew, for the next 20 years. Then I moved to Spanish because there were things that could not be written in Hebrew. Language not only describes or represents reality, it also creates it. And Modern Hebrew is a language that has created a totally different Jewish Moroccan from the one I know; there are many ways to describe the Moroccan in Modern Hebrew and almost all of them are negative. And I could not change the whole of the Hebrew language, or cope with it. So the need for Spanish was a linguistic need and also a social need. A line like “I am an exiled Moroccan poet” (from one of my poems) could not be written in Hebrew. It took me eight years to translate it, and even now I am attacked for writing something so obvious. A Moroccan in Israel has to thank Zionism for saving him from a terrible life and fate, so the question of being an exile outside the understanding of Israeli society. I should thank everyone every day for having been saved and converted to the new Zionist-Judaism, and to ultra new Judaeo-Christianity, which is the same thing.
So my poetry is definitely different or I am even a different poet when I write in different language. Spanish is my mother tongue and my historic tongue, since this language has been spoken by family over the last thousand years, Hebrew is the language of my oppression, and for the fight against this oppression; it’s a father tongue, a male phallic chauvinistic tongue, but it is also the sacred tongue, the tongue of the temple, somewhere deep inside. English is a kind of neutral tongue, and also the tongue of the empire, it’s all over and I often use it when the other two conflict with each other or for more philosophical poems.
In my everyday life I live in Hebrew, with some French too because my wife is French, and we have many French friends, although I speak Spanish with my mother, and with some of my family too. And in Israel there is always some English in everyday life, since there are many tourists in the city, as well as many American and English immigrants who don’t bother to learn Hebrew, because they don’t have to.
How do you reflect on your linguistic identity and how do you perceive your cultural identity?
I see myself as some kind of disappearing species. I see myself as a Karaite in the 18th or 19th century, like a member of a sect; the Karaites were the mainstream of Judaism in the 12th century and now there are may be 1000 of them left. Since the 16th century Ashkenazíc Judaism has dominated the Jewish world. Israel was an anomaly during the 1980s when there was a majority of Sephardic Jews, but now they are maybe 40% (since the big Russian emigration) and most are trying to be like the image of the new Jew that was imposed on them by Zionism. I think that the Sephardic Jew is disappearing from the world. Ruth Knafo-Setton sent a few stories to a Jewish magazine in the US and they told her that her stories were nice but that she should write about “real Jews”. Moroccan Jews are not “real” Jews; they are some kind of folklore. Since most of my novels are about Moroccan Jews, I guess they are not “real” Israeli or Jewish novels. The Moroccan Jew has become fiction in the Jewish consciousness.
How do you envisage the future of your children in terms of culture? Do you feel they fit into society in Israel?
I don’t really know. Israel is a country in a state of change. It’s very dynamic and it is hard to say where it will be in a year. I have tried to pass on part of my history and heritage to my children, although this is not very simple, since school texts contradict all that I say to them. I am only one against a big system, and it’s a battle I cannot win. Maybe I can lose it with some dignity and save something from my past that will go on in future generations. As it is, my descendants will probably think that I came to Israel from a cave in Africa. That’s more or less the concept of the Sephardic Jew.
testimonio de Julia Cortez, de Guatemala
"Los delitos de genocidio
no pueden quedar impunes"
En el día internacional de los derechos humanos,
Julia Cortez, presidenta de la AJR de Guatemala
reivindica la memoria de las víctimas de los
gobiernos militares
PATRICIA CAMPELO Madrid 11/12/2010 12:55 Actualizado: 11/12/2010 14:20
Julia, presidenta de la Asociación Justicia y Reconciliación (AJR).Patricia Campelo
Julia es una mujer valiente y sosegada. Lo dice la impávida expresión de su rostro y sus manos pequeñas con las que acompasa cada palabra que pronuncia. Se define con humildad como "una ama de casa" que trabaja las tierras que dan de comer a su familia y retiene el dato sobre su labor de militancia hasta que no se le pregunta directamente.
Julia Cortez Tecú es la presidenta de la Asociación Justicia y Reconciliación (AJR), entidad invitada por la Fundación Paz y Solidaridad (CCOO) para que den a conocer en España el trabajo que desarrollan en Guatemala en el ámbito de los derechos humanos y de la recuperación de la memoria histórica.
Con motivo del Día Internacional de los Derechos Humanos, Julia, en representación de la AJR, ha tenido la primera oportunidad de visitar España y conocer a miembros de las asociaciones de memoria, integradas en la Plataforma contra la Impunidad del Franquismo, con quienes se ha reunido para compartir experiencias y plantear posibles modos de colaboración.
Víctima del genocidio
La circunstancia familiar llevó a la presidenta de la AJR a emprender el camino de la militancia en los derechos humanos. Es hija y hermana de dos víctimas del genocidio maya que asoló Guatemala durante la conflicto armado interno que desangró el país entre 1960 y 1994, y que alcanzó su mayor punto de brutalidad en la década de los 80.
"Trabajamos por las víctimas de los años 80 a 1996 porque fueron años muy duros, donde no se respetaban los derechos fundamentales", rememora Julia, quien subraya que es el momento de que los que sobrevivieron a la tragedia busquen justicia y "que no queden impunes los delitos".
El gobierno entregó viviendas defectuosas a víctimas del genocidio para reparar su dañoEl testimonio de la presidenta de la AJR es el de una mujer que no tiene miedo, a pesar de las represalias que existen en su país contra quienes militan en defensa de la justicia.
Recuerdo colectivo
En Rabinal recuerdan cada una de las fechas en que se masacraron a sus seres queridos. La AJR, formada por 300 miembros, realiza 22 conmemoraciones al año en las cinco regiones donde desarrolla su labor.
El trabajo que realizan por "recordar y no olvidar" lleva a las víctimas a organizar actos, desde hace diez años, en colaboración con otras comunidades afectadas por la represión de los gobiernos militares, y, de esta manera,construyen su duelo de manera colectiva: "Una vez al año hacemos un encuentro con otras comunidades con las que compartimos el dolor por la pérdidas de nuestros familiares", relata Julia.
Los paralelismos con el movimiento ciudadano de la recuperación de la memoria histórica en España son más que evidentes. "En el año 2000 comenzó la asociación porque empezaron a producirse las primeras exhumaciones", señala la activista sobre lo que fue el cumplimiento, por parte del Estado guatemalteco, de una de las recomendaciones que le hizo la Comisión para el Esclarecimiento Histórico (CEH), al amparo de las Naciones Unidas, tres años después de finalizar el conflicto armado.
A pesar de los mecanismos de la comunidad internacional para lograr verdad, justicia y reparación "el Estado no ha hecho lo suficiente", denuncia Julia, quien confía en que un nuevo cambio que se dará pronto en el Ministerio Público, "retome su causa y pueda hacerse justicia". Asimismo señala que parte de la reparación insuficiente del Gobierno de Guatemala consistió en "levantar unas casas para las víctimas que pasados unos tres años se venían abajo".
Visibilizar el genocidio
Dar a conocer la historia hace que no vuelva a repetirse". La líder de AJR conoce bien la máxima de Churchill que repite con frecuencia porque considera muy importante que "los testigos del genocidio certifiquen lo que pasó y que no se olvide".
Transmitir la memoria histórica a los jóvenes es una tarea vital que la asociación no ha descuidado. "Por lamentable que sea lo que pasó, no podemos esconder la historia a la juventud aunque - reconoce Julia- hay historias horribles que no se han contado por la dureza de su relato".
Un mural con 2000 fotos recordó a los muertos y desaparecidos el pasado noviembreConsciente de las críticas que suscita su compromiso social, responde a quienes tratan de acallar a los militantes de AJR aduciendo que "tanto recordar, acabará repitiéndose la tragedia". "Dando a conocer la verdad, concienciamos a los jóvenes para que no repitan los errores del pasado", insiste.
Uno de los recursos que utiliza esta entidad es el de la "memoria fotográfica". El pasado noviembre, más de 2.000 nombres y fotografías de mujeres, hombres, ancianos y niños asesinados por militares entre 1981 y 1982, llenaron la pared de un cementerio de Rabinal en un acto simbólico "por el recuerdo y la dignidad" de las más de 200.000 víctimas entre muertos y desaparecidos que dejó el conflicto, según el informe de la CEH.
Difícil reconciliación
La AJR busca "que no queden impunes los responsables de torturas, asesinatos, violaciones y demás agresiones terribles" y reconoce Julia que la "reconciliación" que la propia asociación lleva por nombre es un concepto que a ella le cuesta mucho asimilar. "Reconciliar es algo que no podremos hacer".
Esta campesina y ama de casa encuentra un punto de satisfacción en su lucha al sentir que lleva consigo "la memoria" de sus "seres queridos" y quecontribuye activamente a "visibilizar lo que sucedió", como superviviente de una tragedia que la llevó cuatro años a vivir en la montaña.
"No se puede esconder la historia, por lamentable que fuera""Tras la masacre del 15 de septiembre de 1980 a los campesinos de mi región, tuvimos que refugiarnos en las montañas para salvar la vida", un lugar en el que asegura no haber visto "a ningún guerrillero". "Los soldados nos acusaban de ser la guerrilla, pero vivíamos allí solo para defender nuestras vidas".
Como prueba que refuta sus palabras, Julia esgrime un último argumento: "En las exhumaciones de aquellos campesinos no apareció ni una sola arma de fuego".
El cuerpo de la hermana de la presidenta de la AJR fue hallado recientemente. El de su padre, en cambio, continúa buscándolo. Ambos fueron asesinados durante el exilio interior que vivieron huyendo de los militares.
Calle Caleruega nº 104, 1ª planta. Madrid 28033.
Teléfono: (34) 91 8387641
Mediapubli Sociedad de Publicaciones y Ediciones S.L.
entrevista a Antonio Ballesta Martinez, por Eduardo Montagut-Contreras
Una vida tras Mauthausen
Antonio Ballesta Martínez, último alicantino superviviente del campo de concentración nazi, cumple el domingo 100 años
S. N. - Alicante - 09/12/2010
"El hombre no es malo por naturaleza". El aserto es de una persona que ha sufrido en carne propia el más horroroso ejemplo de escarnio, vejación y tortura del hombre sobre el hombre: El campo de concentración nazi de Mauthausen-Gusen. Antonio Ballesta Martínez ha sobrevivido a esa brutal experiencia y el domingo cumplirá 100 años. Una larga vida que le ha convertido en el último alicantino vivo que sobrevivió al infierno nazi.
La entidad cívica Alicante Vivo ha desvelado el secreto de Antonio Ballesta. Hasta ahora, según los datos facilitados por el colectivo, se creía que el último alicantino superviviente al campo de concentración había sido José Forne Navarro, fallecido en abril de 2007 a los 91 años. Juan José Amores, portavoz deAlicante Vivo, señaló ayer que tuvo conocimiento de la historia de Antonio Ballesta por su enfermero. "Hablamos con él y corroboramos su veracidad", dijo.
El casi centenario Ballesta alcanza este título de último superviviente a Mauthausen de Alicante por las casualidades de la vida. Oficialmente, Antonio Ballesta había muerto en el campo de concentración. Su nombre integraba la lista, por orden alfábético, de todos los alicantinos asesinados en el campo nazi. "Baix Segura. Albatera. Ballesta Martínez, Antonio. Nacido en el 11 de diciembre de 1910, procedente del Stalag XI-B, donde tenía el número 87328. Murió en Gussen el 3 de septiembre de 1942", recoge la lista.
Pero en realidad Antonio no murió. Al contrario, fue otro alicantino, Rafael Millá, hijo del último alcalde republicano de Alicante, el fusilado por los nazis. Ambos habían intercambiado su identidad días antes.
Ballesta es hijo de una familia humilde, radicada en el barrio alicantino de San Blas. El inicio de la Guerra Civil marcó su destino. Como miembro de la Guardia Republicana, su primer destino fue Arganda para acabar en Barcelona, desde donde partió al exilio francés. Allí, se unió a la Resistencia gala, pero tras ser esta doblegada por el ejército alemán, en junio de 1940, cayó prisionero de Hitler.
Primero fue conducido a Belfort, donde acordó intercambiar la identidad con Rafael Millá. "Llamaron a Rafael y me presenté yo", declara Antonio al colectivo. Luego fue subido a un tren rumbo a Mauthausen. "Allí, me enteré de que Rafael había muerto", relata. Su compañero falleció con la identidad cambiada y así quedó registrado.
Los recuerdos de Antonio sobre su estancia en Mauthausen son estremecedores: "Si dejábamos una arruga en la cama, nos daba 25 azotes, y si decían tu número y no respondías, te molían a palizas", comenta. "La sopa, el pan, la mantequilla... aquello era oro", añade.
Antonio sobrevivió hasta la liberación del campo por los Aliados. Hasta la muerte Franco estuvo afincado en Francia, y hace unos años regresó a Alicante, a su casa de San Blas. A las puertas del centenario, Antonio está delicado de salud, pero mentalmente sigue activo: "Está aprendiendo inglés, para sumarlo a las otras cuatro lenguas que habla", señaló ayer un familiar.
Cuando se le pregunta por su experiencia en Mauthausen dice: "He visto la cara de la maldad". Alicante Vivo solicita al Ayuntamiento que le rinda un homenaje.
memoria y accion: Diana Wang y los sobrevivientes de la Shoa
Theoretical Perspectives on Displacement
Hommi Bhabha, an interview. Mohanty, S. (2005),
Towards a global cultural citizenship: http://www.hindu.com/lr/2005/07/03/stories/2005070300020100.htm
Galasinski, D. & Jaworski, A. (2003):
http://cardiff.ac.uk/encap/resources/publications/jaworski-adam/papers/galasinski%20and%20jaworski%202003.pdf
Pavlenko, A. (1997), "To Speak a Foreign
Language is to Depart from Yourself" :
webs.uvigo.es/ssl/actas1997/01/Pavlenko.pdf
Pavlenko, A. , Narrative Study: Whose Story Is It,
Anyway?
http://ld-sig.org/files/Pavlenko_TQ36.2.pdf
Turcotte, G. (2004), Persistence of Vision:
http://works.bepress.com/gturcotte/7/
Colombi Nicolia, Beatriz (2006), El viaje y su relato:
http://redalyc.uaemex.mx/pdf/640/64004302.pdf
testimonios historicos: Ana Rodríguez Bolaños, por Eduardo Montagut Contreras
'Después de que la raparan y le dieran aceite de ricino, la callaron para siempre'
Escrito por: Eduardo Montagut Contreras el 09 Dic 2010 - URL PermanenteSe llamaba Ana Rodríguez Bolaños. En la foto se la ve en la puerta de su casa en
Zalamea la Real, en la cuenca minera de Huelva, rodeada por su marido y sus
cinco hijos. Reina la República y ella aún es joven. Tiene una expresión tranquila
y su pelo largo recogido en un moño al aire. Hay que imaginársela, muy poco
después, en 1937, con la cabeza cubierta con un pañuelo para ocultar la infamia.
Durante la represión desatada en la retaguardia franquista, se la llevaron un día
de su casa para darle un escarmiento.
Como a miles de mujeres en España, le raparon el pelo y le hicieron tragar aceite
de ricino para que se le descompusiera el vientre. «'Toma, que te has cagado
delante de la gente'; lo que se trataba era de humillarlas». Sus nietos Juana
y Manuel Ramírez Domínguez cuentan que ese episodio traumatizó a su abuela y
marcó a la familia, que emigró a Sevilla, donde aún residen.
Su abuela Ana
«Después de eso, la callaron para siempre. Se quedó traumatizada para toda su
vida», dice Juana. Ana sufrió depresiones hasta su muerte en 1979, con 85 u 86 años.
La noticia, y con vídeo, en:
http://www.elmundo.es/elmundo/2010/12/06/andalucia_sevilla/1291657756.html
testimonial of Guadalupe Perez-Anzaldo
A Life Among Many Others
Literature has always played a pivotal role in my life. I was born and raised in Mexico City. Despite the fact that my father was a truck driver and my mother was a housewife, they used to collect and read a variety of novels. When I was thirteen, my mother lost all her vision as a result of her diabetes and I felt that by reading to her I could still help her perceive those images of the world that she would not be able to see anymore. I used to sit on her bedside almost every evening and read to her novels translated into Spanish such as: The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper, Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, and Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë, among others. From my mother I learned how to read aloud using different voice intonations in order to call the attention of my audience. She also taught me to pay attention to the correct spelling of words and the grammar in Spanish. But most importantly, she reinforced my love for reading and the excitement in learning something new every day. Unfortunately, she did not have more time left to share with me since she died when she was only forty five years old.
Through those formative years, I learned that heroines did not only exist in novels; on the contrary, they are real and live among us. We only need to open our eyes and see them. They are here because every day, everywhere, people are making heroic acts. Our heroes are of flesh and bone! I was lucky to have met very interesting women who became role models for me: my older sisters Maria and Consuelo. They were rebellious women and left my father's home at a very young age looking for more opportunities. More importantly, they wanted to at least be able to decide for themselves what they really wanted to do. It is not easy to survive a patriarchal society where women in general were marginalized and did not get their right to vote until 1953. The early eighties were still a very difficult time period for a woman to be accepted
as an independent individual. In this case, my sisters were able to rent an apartment and finance their education thanks to a job they got in a factory where they worked eight hours per day.
My father was so mad at them that he prohibited me to contact them again. For me, those were the most difficult years of my life because of the fact that I was the only woman living with very controlling men: my father, my grandfather, and two brothers. When I asked my father for his permission to continue my education after I graduated from junior high he said: “there is scientific evidence that a woman’s brain is smaller than that of men, so how do you expect to excel in school if you do not have the brain? Besides, school is a luxury you cannot afford, the only possibility for you is to earn your own money to pay for your expenses and obviously you are not capable of doing so.” Then he demanded me to become a modern “Cinderella” by cleaning his house, doing the laundry, ironing their clothes, and cooking. After so much insistence from my part, he gave me his permission to attend a public high school on the condition that I completed all my daily chores before it was school time.
Although it was not an easy transition for me, I attended one of the best public high schools in Mexico City. My sisters were often assisting me with food or money and they persistently encouraged me not to give up on my education. In those high school years I read some of the works of classic authors such as Homer, Cicero, Horace, etc.; Golden Age Spanish writers such as Calderón de
After I graduated from high school, I planned to finish a technical, and more practical, career in order to be able to finance my higher education. I was admitted to a prestigious institution, which was financed entirely by the Mexican government. When I completed my career as a secretary, I was offered a position to one of the official branches, equivalent to the IRS in the United States. There I learned, first hand, how corrupt and inefficient official workers were (and continue to be). I remember I was so bored when talking to other secretaries because their conversations always centered on the current episodes of the most popular soap operas in television. It seemed that they did not really care about people paying their taxes for them to be able to earn their wages. At first I escaped from that absurd reality by reading my favorite novels, but once my supervisor noticed I devoted most of my time to this activity, he said to me: “I do not feel comfortable seeing you just seated in your desk reading all those books, I prefer to see you talking to other women, walking or eating rather than doing what you like to do.” That was when I decided to move on.
When I was admitted to the National Autonomous University of Mexico (UNAM), I was excited and nervous at the same time. I knew it was one of the biggest challenges for me because of its reputation as being one of the best universities in the world. Although it is a free institution (there are no tuition or enrollment fees, just a symbolic $20 gesture), it is very difficult for the majority of students to complete satisfactorily their education. The cost of books, transportation, and daily expenses are key factors for a student to abandon his/her goal of pursuing a higher education. Unfortunately, I became part of those desertion statistics. My father was continuously pressing me to abandon school; he kept saying I should be satisfied with my technical career and should save my earnings to pay my own apartment. He even prohibited me to eat at home the food that he and my brothers had bought with their efforts. He blamed me for becoming as rebellious and subversive as my older sisters and assured me he was not going to tolerate my insubordination. One day he told me he was certain I was never going to get married because no man, in his five senses, would like to marry a brainless woman like me, and I replied to him: “Well, if that man is going to be as macho as you and my brothers are then you are right, I will never get married.” Happily for me, I met the most “feminist” man in the world, Demetrio Anzaldo-González and a few months later I married him when I was twenty-two years old.
Financial hardships were always a constant in my married life and my husband and I were forced to leave behind our professional careers. We both had intended to become journalists and were in the final year to finish our goal when I got pregnant. Since our combined wages were not enough to sustain a family, my husband was determined to look for new opportunities to improve our social status. He moved to the United States planning to stay only three months; the time he supposedly needed to earn enough money to start a lucrative business in Mexico. As a former migrant worker, he was granted amnesty during the late eighties. Afterward, my son and I moved to this country as well. While it was a very complicated situation for all of us, due to the fact that we didn't have a relative or a friend whom we could trust nor did we know how to speak English at all, we managed to overcome all obstacles.
My husband and I were fortunate to meet an excellent person and better friend, Mr. Benjamin Andrade who informed us about the possibility to attend a community college. He insisted it was vital for us to acquire the English language skills in order to succeed in this society. It was a surprise for us to find out how students in this country were rewarded just by obtaining excellent notes. This crucial fact motivated us to finally move ahead in our education. My husband devoted his time to excel in all his classes, to work as a gardener to support his little family, and to spend some time with us. We both were attending the University of California, Riverside, but we were never enrolled in the same course at the same time. As an undergraduate student, I felt alienated and lonely because of my personality and/or physical appearance: African-American and White American women did not want to talk to me arguing it was very difficult for them to understand my accent; most Mexican-American women considered me too old to get along with them and I was also rejected since I did not have the ability of code switching (combining both languages, Spanish and English, in my speaking); and Mexican women simply did not accept me because I was not a traditional Mexican woman.
When my husband completed his B.A. he was accepted into the University of California, Irvine. By receiving an excellent scholarship, our economic situation improved. The second time I got pregnant, I decided to wait a year before continuing my studies. I applied to the same graduate school my husband was attending and I was also admitted. I had the idea that being with him things would be easier for me, but most of the people I met there refuse to consider me as an equal: they always referred to me as “Demetrio’s wife” and did not even care about using my own name. In particular, I remember one classmate who once told me: “Your husband is avery smart student, and I’m surprised you are not as smart as him.” The worst experience came when I completed my Masters Degree. I was not able to celebrate this because my older sister, Juanita, died due to Diabetes. I then went to talk to my academic advisor and when I asked him if he could help guide me to request a leave of absence since I was emotionally impacted for this loss, he told me, “Guadalupe, when you agreed to study at this institution, you knew this required a lot of work from the students, and now you’re making excuses. Your husband is about to get his P.h.D. and he will probably be offered a very good job position. So why are you suffering here when you could just stay at home and take care of your children?” I was shocked to hear his “advice”, however that made me try even harder to prove everyone wrong. A few years later, I finally completed my P.h.D.
I decided to write my dissertation on Jewish-Mexican Women Writers. I chose this topic because I considered them to be as marginal subjects such as myself. Their families had immigrated to a country where the majority of people speak a different language than theirs and practiced a different religion. These writers illustrated their fascinating stories about family sagas that, in some ways, were similar to many Mexicans immigrating to the U.S. I also found out that there was discrimination against them even from within the Jewish communities because they were feminists trying to gain recognition in society. Their society is also very patriarchal and does not allow women to have much freedom. The Orthodox Jewish faction, especially, denies women their rights by believing they are dirty and inferior to men; that is the reason why they are not allow to even touch their Torah (their sacred book). One writer, in particular, named Sara Levy-Calderón was forced to hide her real identity by using a pseudonym. She was then exiled to the U.S. because her father, a prominent entrepreneur in Mexico, as well as the Azkenazi Jewish community were ashamed of her openly expressed lesbianism. During this research process, I was also shocked to discover that lesbianism was also a cause of censorship in the U.S. as it happened in the case of Anne Frank. Schools in this country have censored some parts of her diary which deals with lesbianism and sexuality.
I am proud to say my dissertation has been published as a book. That has been one of my greatest accomplishments, but certainly not the last. After all the challenges in my life, people have learned to recognize my work and my persistence. My father, for example, asked me to make copies of my publications since he is planning to read them all. He has finally seen me as a knowledgeable woman with talent. Of my two rebellious sisters, only one, Consuelo, has finished her Masters Degree in Psychology and she was nominated as the Woman of the Year in the institution where she works in, southern Mexico. We are a rare statistic, but I am confident there will be many more opportunities for women like us. It has been a pleasure to share with you some fragments of my life. I aspire to inspire other women to pursue a higher education. These kaleidoscopic episodes can be seen as a prism where others can successfully see themselves because women of past and present generations are an important part, the most important part, in our ever changing society.



