Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta displacement. Mostrar todas las entradas
Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta displacement. Mostrar todas las entradas

Migration- Theodore Van Houten

Theodore Van Houten is a Dutch-British writer, journalist, musicologist, translator, producer, Radio/TV program-maker and expert in silent movies.



My parents met by chance during their summer holiday. In August 1937 my mother would be 21, and her trip to Interlaken, Switzerland, was her first holiday spent abroad and independent from her parents. She was born in Edinburgh, Scotland, in a flat overlooking the ‘Meadows’ at Lonsdale Terrace, and still lived there when she first visited Switzerland. She devoted her time to her music, she was a cellist, her work as a civil servant, and took care of her father, who suffered from a cardiac disease.
At the time my father, Taco, who was born in the most northern province of the Netherlands, Groningen, lived in Wageningen. There his father was a famous lecturer on agricultural and landscape architecture at the Agricultural University. My father studied in Amsterdam: theology, philosophy and history, and mastered several languages including Hebrew, Greek and Latin. When he met my mother in the neutral area of the Interlaken open air swimming pool, he was 23.
Although initially he fancied a friend of my mother, her travel companion, also from Edinburgh, he fell in love with Sara. It was a holiday romance, but not one that was forgotten already on the train back home. He promised to visit Sara in Edinburgh and so he did. He came from a family consisting of parents and four boys. My mother came from a family of parents and four girls. Thus there was a difference in family culture, and in national culture. My father took a liking to my Scottish grandfather, a highly talented and musically gifted man, who had a brilliant business career, although – as an illegitimate – he had not been allowed to enter university. One of my aunts took the secret of his ancestry to the grave. Apparently he descended from a bastard child of a very, very famous Romantic Scottish writer. His name was James Lockhart. He was a real gentleman, brought up by a church minister. His mother was an Irish woman of rather ill repute, her name was Mary Gallagher. My father was not that keen on the strong personality of my grandmother, Sara Elizabeth Thomson Lockhart. Her father had been a see captain in the merchant navy and sailed from Leith (Edinburgh) to Odessa. He used to export or import horses, but did not live to be 50. If the family was not in the merchant navy (Thomson), whisky production and trade (Thomson) or cork (Currie) they could be in other careers. There had been a Charles Thomson, who was a commander (admiral) of the Royal Navy in the mid-nineteenth century. He was the ‘hero of the battle of Gibail (Byblos, Lebanon)’, and that gave him his rank.

My grandmother in Lonsdale Terrace definitely steered her household. My mother’s three sisters had already flown the nest. Dorothy was married to a war-invalid, Jim Don, a wealthy jute trader. Jean, later a well-known BBC radio producer, chaperoned the youngest daughter of the family. She was a child prodigy, Elizabeth, and studied the violin with Carl Flesch in Belgium and Cologne, where she once saw ‘Mister Hitler’ in a parade. My mother was the only girl left in Edinburgh. Her sisters called her ‘Mousie’. She was the only one of the four who had children, and she outlived all the others, even Elizabeth, who was almost five years younger.
My mother could be an au pair and she soon moved to Holland. In a place not far from Wageningen she stayed at a wealthy family to teach the boys proper English. She once thoughtlessly told the family that her father would send her money for Christmas. One of the boys awaited the postman every morning, got hold of the Scottish envelope, and changed the contents into Dutch guilders at a bank in Arnhem. The bank thought it suspicious and notified the police. The boy was arrested but later became a university professor of law. After this scandal my father’s elder brother Klaas, a publisher and a bully of a man, went to pick up Sara. She then lived with my grandparents in Wageningen. They taught her to speak Dutch, but with a strong northern (Groningen) accent. It took a long time for her to adjust to ‘proper’ King’s Dutch. She had to be discouraged to the use the Groningen accent she had just naturally acquired. As an au-pair she was once present at some kind of party of snobs with hyphenated names. One of the families was very proud, because their son was a naval cadet in uniform, with cap and epaulets, and he was presented as their golden boy. My mother could not help her remark: ‘We had somebody at sea in our family as well..’ ‘In the merchant service, I suppose’, the cadet’s mother said.
‘No’, my mother replied: ‘Admiral of the Royal Navy’.

Taco and Sara were engaged, as was still the habit, and had plans to get married as soon as Taco had graduated. On 10 May 1940, immaculately dressed in black tie, he waited at the Wageningen railway station for the train to Amsterdam, for his final exam. That day he would take his degree as a theologian from the (Protestant) Amsterdam Free University. But the train did not come. The Germans had invaded Holland that night, and until the 14th of  May a war was fought out. Nazi bombers destroyed the centre of the city of Rotterdam on 14 May, and the Dutch army capitulated the following day. By then the queen and government had already fled to London.

My mother was still a British subject. Anyone in Holland carrying a British, Belgian or French passport was seen as an enemy of Nazi-Germany, and had to report at an internment camp. For British women this was camp Schoorl, north of Amsterdam. It housed many POW’s, including a group of forty British women, many of them artists and circus people that were on tour in Holland at the time of the German invasion.
For my mother there was only one way to acquire Dutch citizenship and avoid incarceration: getting married to my father before the end of May. When still under 30, at the time one could not get married without the parents’ permission. My mothers parents were in Scotland and in no way to be reached. Through the Arnhem Public Prosecutor dispensation was arranged and my parent got married on 21 May 1940, in the bicycle shed of the Wageningen town hall, which had been bombed.
My father soon graduated and the couple lived in Culemborg, Leiden and Amsterdam-North where my father was assistant-minister, student pastor and church minister respectively. Because of my mothers double nationality the authorities kept an eye on the couple, and my father could not do much in the resistant movement. The couple had two children during the war. A girl was born in April 1942 and a boy in August 1944. Both children were seriously ill. My sister always blamed her many health problems to the German occupation during which she grew up. She was just three years old when the war ended. In the last war winter the Germans cut Amsterdam off from food supplies, causing my brother’s rachitis. My mother herself suffered from scurvy during the last war years. She also lost her pre-war weight, to never regain it again.
In the first years after the war the family lived in Britsum, a very small village in Friesland, the Northern province of milk and healthy food. A second girl was born here in July 1947, and she was a blooming baby. My mother had not been back to Scotland for years. In 1943 she received a Red Cross telegram with the sad message that her father had died from angina pectoris at 62. Not too far from Britsum was the port of Harlingen, from where coasters used to sail to Leith or Edinburgh. She contacted the company and before long she sailed with Captain Eijs to Scotland, where her mother and eldest sister awaited her. She was born in a metropole. After years in a small rural Frysian village she was longing back for Princes Street, Edinburgh castle, the tea rooms and bag pipes. First she had two children with her, so it was probably somewhere in 1946. When my grandmother pushed a pram through Edinburgh and was asked what was in it, she said: ‘A pair of blooming foreigners.’
From then on – until 1960 – my mother would travel along on coasters from Harlingen and later Rotterdam to Edinburgh. Usually in September, when it was her mother’s birthday. She always liked to travel, and she probably went over twice a year, to stay away for quite a while. A month was no exception. The shipping companies did not or hardly charge her anything for the trips. It was clandestine. As we sailed into Scotland we were to stay in our cabins and should not be seen aboard. There was something illegal about it, but we were never bothered.
In 1950 the family moved to Aalsmeer, horticultural centre of the world. The family was ‘complete’ so to speak. In five years time three children had arrived. And five years after that I arrived, too late to be of any use. My sister Liz, ten years my senior, took part in my upbringing and taught me reading and counting and so on. When my mother went to Scotland, the (other) children were mostly taken care of by members of my father’s Reformed Church congregation.
Probably in 1953 it was my first turn to cross the North Sea to that Utopia called Edinburgh, where my aunt Dorothy and her widowed mother lived in a large house at Queensferry Road, leading to the famous Firth of Forth railway bridge. Our neighbors across the road, the Eveleens family, provided us with a large brown cardboard flower export box, that was to be my carry-cot.
I traveled with my mother from Rotterdam to Edinburgh each year once or twice between 1953 and the early sixties. When I first flew – with a Polish Lot airplane full of refugees – it was the last flight allowed to depart from Amsterdam airport because of the snow conditions. This was shortly before Christmas 1962, and my Granny and aunt Dorothy by then had moved down to Sussex.
The Rotterdam-Edinburgh crossing took three days. I remember when I was six (1958) or seven (1959) we once found ourselves in a raging storm over the Dogger Bank. The coaster (either Midsland, Gaasterland, or Nieuwland) disappeared in a huge wave, and I felt this was the end of me. I was very seasick and even went to the ship’s railing feeling the rage, salt and foam of nature. I was allowed there, and on the bridge, while my school mates in Aalsmeer were vast asleep and off for school in the morning. My mother did not care about that much, that I missed school. It did cause some trouble however with the school inspection. We would stay in Edinburgh and go shopping, to McVitties or the George Street Book Store tea room, visit the castle, all sorts of friends – always ladies – and no school or church to be seen. We went to auctions where my mother would get bargains that had to come home with us by boat. Our Robert Westphal Berlin piano had been given to us by Granny, and had come over by boat, before I was born.

Life was altogether different in Scotland. Dogs and cats would sleep in our beds and I loved the dogs. I had to behave like a prince in brown shiny Clark shoes, in sailor’s suit, sailor’s cap reading HMS Claverhouse, and a white cord and a whistle. My school mates in Holland wore overalls, boots or wooden shoes. When I was six or seven my mother took me to a clockmaker, Mr. Penny, in a small narrow street just before the Edinburgh Castle parade square. His workshop was full of clocks and springs. He wore an eye glass to look into the mysterious worlds of clockwork. Mr. Penny was kind. Apparently my aunt Dorothy was a good customer. He gave my me first watch. It was probably American, as its face showed the American popular hero from the southern states Davy Crockett, wearing his famous fur hat. When I returned to school in Aalsmeer – I was seven or eight – I was the only pupil there (out of  300)  who could tell the clock. A 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Hansma, would regularly send me to the central hall of the school where a large clock was: ‘Go and see what time it is.’ I was the only one in school who could do that. In the fifties children did not sport watches. Moreover, I was the only one in school who could speak English. I was certainly a bit of an outsider, being half-foreign, the smallest boy in the school, on Clark shoes.
When we were in Scotland churches did not seem to exist. We never went there anyway, while in Aalsmeer it was compulsory.
Everything was so different in Scotland, it was ‘a country full of aunties’. There were hills there, and we would pick nick in the Pentlands, where the crystal clear streams contained small fish swimming against the flow in extremely cold water. We drank tea a lot, and Granny would add ‘a mickle’ or ‘a muckle’ of sugar to every dish she prepared. Aunt Dorothy would bake delicious pancakes and scones on the Aga, and we would watch Robin Hood on the little TV there was. We had no telly at home yet.
There seemed to be money for everything. I was named after my aunt Dorothy, but she had not much experience with children, other than her three younger sisters. She was active in the Tory party and a very generous person. If I would stand before a toy-shop and study the shop window, she would already walk in to buy me the whole stock, so to speak. We were once taken by a Rolls-Royce to meet the Lord Provost of Edinburgh, and I had to behave as good and as silent as gold. There were no churches, no schools, no friends. Edinburgh seemed to consist only of shops, parks, tearooms and auctions. I remember we once visited a family that had a man in it. He took me up to his attic, occupied entirely by a table full of  wind-up miniature trains.
In all, I must have spent six to twelve months or maybe more in Scotland. In 1958 we went down – in an Austin A40 Somerset – to London, where the two other sisters of my mother lived and some other family members. One of them was in a wheel chair. He had been a top man in MacKinlay’s Scotch whiskey and was by now very old. That morning my mother had given me a present, a glass paper-weight with colorful flowers in it. When we came to old Uncle Jimmie (his son, Montgomery’s right hand, was ‘Young Jimmie’) I felt sorry for him because of the wheel chair, and showed him my precious new paper weight. ‘What does he want?’ asked Uncle Jimmie, and my mother explained: ‘He wants you to have it.’
Three years later I inherited his silver card-case.

I was brought up bilingual and as a young boy could distinguish between the British and Dutch ways of life. I well remember the bright red colors of  Edinburgh mail-vans and kitchen chairs, and the use of bright green on doors, and what not? It was all less Calvinistic than life in Holland. And Britain was wealthier then, than Holland. I clearly noticed that as well, when five or six years old. My aunt Dorothy once said to me: ‘I have had nothing all my life, only money.’
I was an early migrant, growing up in one culture and regularly sniffing at another surrounding where everything was different. The left side traffic, the strange money system, the white tea… My aunt Dorothy, although very much influenced and bullied by her mother, was the solid rock. She smoked Benson & Hedges gold packs continuously and could be found working in her garden as soon as she had half a chance. My grandmother did the bringing up: ‘Eat your din-dins properly.’
In the early sixties Mother and daughter Dorothy moved to the south near Hastings. I would still visit them regularly, but I had got used to the differences in culture, behavior, taste and life altogether.
I could not always come along with my mother on one of her Scottish excursions. Her four children were then placed in the families of parishioners, friends, sometimes family members, as long as she was hands-free to move about in Scotland, from shop to shop window, from tearoom to tearoom.
I usually went to one family for a few weeks. Good hard working people, devoted to their religion, as good as gold, but it was not quite the same as Queensferry Road. Their family culture differed as much from home as Edinburgh did. On Saturday night a tub was placed in the middle of the living room, and all children used it, the one after the other. As a guest I could go first. After the last bather had been cleaned a greyish watery substance remained foaming in the bath. They sang psalms and hymns at the organ, and would then play board games. Nothing like that at home. The ‘auntie’ who took care of me sang psalms and hymns all day long. She would have spent her very last penny if she could help a hungry tramp. These people were the few true Christians I ever came across. My eldest sister went to school in Haarlem. A friend of my father lived there, an eccentric sculptor and painter. She had to sleep in the attic where plaster models, busts and so on haunted her sleep. My younger sister would stay at another church minister’s house in a village nearby. These people were extremely, pre-war old fashioned. At home we could do anything we liked. But the daughter of this family, studying to be a doctor, had to ask her mother everything: ‘Mum, can I have a banana?’ or ‘Mum, can I have a glass of milk?’ My sister went mad of this fossilized household and she gave us the weirdest examples so as to agree with her. This family was so obsolete that we nicknamed them ‘The Flintstones.’ My brother used to stay at a family where they had five or six daughters, no sons. This was peculiar, because a son would have done well as a successor, as the father had developed a very large horticultural company. He would have liked one of his daughters to merry my bright businesslike brother, no matter which daughter. But it did not happen.
Staying at different families in Holland and tasting Scottish life now and again we noticed that migrating is not just a matter of crossing borders. Behind every front door exists a certain family culture, certain family habits, even a use of language that will differ from the neighbours. There will be different values and mores, the kitchen will testify different cookery books, the music sounding through the living room will not be next door’s. In extreme, one could say, that meeting another person is already a confrontation with a different culture.
If I look at us four children who grew up in our family in the fifteen years following WWII, I can state that three of us became translators. My eldest sister Liz moved to the USA when she was eighteen, in a student-exchange program. We received an American sister from the Iowa family where our own sis stayed for a year. Later our Liz lived in California for some years, and back in Europe married an Englishman. My brother worked in various countries: Luxemburg, Indonesia, Bangladesh, China, Africa. Like myself he can equally well write in English or Dutch. My youngest sister seems to be best settled in Holland, while I traveled widely over the Northern hemisphere. I feel equally at home in the now simplified tea room over the George Street Book Shop in Edinburgh, as in a messy karaoke bar in Quiapo, Manila. I am able to migrate within myself, and would attend mass in Argao, Cebu, which I would never do at home. I felt an earthquake rattling buildings in South Luzon, but I can also easily be rattled by an Elsschot novel in Dutch, written in Rotterdam over a century ago. When her duties as a family mother became less, she went out as a travel guide. By bus, plane or boat she would guide many groups of tourists to Israel, other Mediterranean countries and Mid-European countries. She was witty, funny and spoke all the necessary languages on tour. It was difficult to keep her home. Even when she was very old she made trips abroad to spas and other tourist attraction. She could not be kept from traveling.

I found, that at points I could easier communicate with a New York Porto-Rican lady selling pea soup on the top of the WTC, a partly Arabic Maltese composer, Pilipina factory workers, Hong Kong business people, Soviet-Russian film makers and writers, American opera conductors, an Argentinian poet and a butcher from Mississauga, Toronto, than with my next door neighbours or close family members. Migration does not necessarily exclude nearness. Being physically close does not necessarily imply that there is no gap distancing people from each other. Two people may be far apart within their relation or marriage, even if they grew up in the same culture with similar values, ideas and mores. At the same type, two people, seemingly very different, may compliment each other in harmony. There is no school text book about all this.

We migrate through time and within ourselves. Migration is not just an ethnic or demographic principle. We are not flight numbers or suit-case labels, but individuals. With the ovulation and the ejaculation our lifelong migration begins.


Edinburgh (Leith) captain James Thomson and some family members on his ship, ca. 1880.


                                 


Violinist Elizabeth Lockhart (1921-1999) was Sara's younger sister. Here on a record sleeve. She had a marvellous career for about twenty years. In 1957 she married conductor Anatole Fistoulari. In 1917 he fled from Russia's revolution, during the war he fled from France to England and escaped the holocaust.





Theodore James at 5, spring 1958, kindergarten, Aalsmeer






Theodore, aged 7, at Edinburgh castle, 29 Octobre 1959. At the background the Princes Street monument of the famous romantic Scottish novelist Sir Walter Scott.



Ian Welden,chileno desde Dinamarca

El noble oficio del exilio

En Dinamarca los hombres y mujeres que solicitan asilo político debido a persecución en sus países de origen son sometidos a una fría y cínica incredulidad acerca de sus reales motivos por algunos sectores de la población danesa.

Qué clase de persona es usted
capaz de creer ciegamente
que abandoné mis amadas cordilleras
pintadas de oro por una loca luna de verano;
mi profundo y amistoso hogar
inundado de sol, colores y voces;
mis dulces huellas olvidadas
en el jardín de juegos de mi escuelita;
mi cálida y silenciosa madre
con su perfume a pan recién horneado
y flores frescas recién cortadas;
Los secretos placeres de mi amante;
las gloriosas y sinceras risas de mis amigos;
los excitantes y afrodisíacos vapores
de mis alimentos y mis condimentos;
la conmovedora simplicidad
de llorar en mi propio idioma;
la reconfortante curiosidad
y sana promiscuidad de mis vecinos,
por un humilde cheque de cien dólares al mes,
una fría, húmeda y solitaria habitación
en un olvidado y derrumbado ghetto
del sector de los narcómanos
mendigos y gangsters de Copenhague?

Essay on Nawal-el-Saadawi's creative and dissident life



Belton, B. & Dowding, C., (2000),
Nawal el Saadawi - a creative and dissident life

See link:




poetry and displacement: Mois Benarroch


see link:
Interview: Moroccan-born Israeli poet Mois Benarroch

On being different and writing a different poem

July 15, 2010
Moving from Morocco to Israel at the age of 13 was like moving from one planet to another. Israel was not only a different country, it was a different culture and these were completely different Jews and it was a completely different Judaism. It was September 1972 and within a year and a half of my arrival there was a war, the Yom Kippur war, and my little brother died; all this happened before the end of 1973. These traumas are the source of my writing, and perhaps the reason I started to write. I missed out completely on adolescence and was also very isolated from the Israeli community.

Can you tell me about your childhood in Morocco, your parents, your education?

We went to a Jewish school, called El Ittihad Maroc. That was the official name of the school but everybody called it La Alianza, in Spanish; it was the first school opened by the Alliance Israelite Universelle in 1862 and became the first of an international Jewish network of schools called the Alliance Française that spread all through the Muslim world and beyond. The level of education was very high and we were prepared for the French baccalauréat. We were also taught many languages and had classes in English, Hebrew and Arabic. Curiously, we were not taught Spanish, although this was the mother tongue of all the pupils and most teachers. So, when the bell rang everybody switched to Spanish. I find this miraculous. Back in class it was forbidden to say a word in Spanish.

My childhood was very Jewish and I still lived in a city that respected the fact that Jews did not work on the Sabbath [Saturday]; business was built around it since many Jews had businesses in my home town Tetouan. The school, as I said, was also a Jewish school. Although there were also some Christians and Muslims, the immediate surroundings were also very Jewish.

We were a family of four children; I was the second, after my sister. I remember very well that we were always on the point of emigrating. The feeling was that we were not staying in Morocco. There was talk of emigrating to Spain, to Venezuela, to Canada. And of course, Israel where we finally settled in 1972, when I was 13.

Have your views about Israel changed in the time you have been living there?

My views about Israel have changed a lot. Despite so many years here I think I see Israel from the outside, I live on the outside. Of course I didn’t have a complete concept or point of view when I was 13. I thought I was coming to a spiritual and religious country where Jews loved each other. This was the naive point of view of a Jewish boy.

What other work do you do besides writing poetry?

Nowadays I am a full-time writer and translator. I have just published a new novel in Spain, Amor y Exilios. I translate novels. I was a clerk-accountant for 12 years in the past with a steady salary. I also worked for a few years in hotels before that. And I studied natural medicine and pratised for time years as a part time job. I liked the idea but I don’t think I was such a good therapist.

How did you become a writer?

I started writing poetry when I was 15, because of feeling isolated and unable to connect with my surroundings. The first poems were love poems to a girl I couldn’t talk to. That seems pretty normal. Isn’t it?

Since then I have never stopped writing. I may be imagining it but I am pretty sure that after writing my first poem I knew deep inside that I was going to be a writer, and for some reason I also knew that it would take a long time for my writing to be accepted. But since then I have never stopped writing and have even done so obsessively at some periods of my life, writing 18 hours a days. It was like if I stopped writing I would die. Maybe it still is. I didn’t stop. I tried a few times but it didn’t work.

Which poets, or other artists, have influenced your work?

There are many. I think that two of the most influential writers are Charles Bukowski and Edmond Jabes, which may look like a complete contradiction. But the main art form that has influenced me beside writing is that of the singer-songwriter. I actually started writing my first poems after listening to the likes of Bob Dylan, Neil Young and Jackson Browne. I even tried to compose music to my poems for some time. I also like movies, and I think that has influenced my novels. Some critics have pointed out that I use cinematic techniques

I have been influenced by many authors in many languages. Let’s start with Hebrew: Natan Zach, David Avidan, Erez Bitton, Zelda, Yona Wallach, Moshe Sartel and many others. From the French, besides Jabes, Cocteau, Breton, Rimbaud, Baudelaire, Blaise Cendrars and many others have influenced me. From the Spanish, mostly the Latin American poets like Neruda, Huidobro, Nicanor Parra and Gonzalo Rojas, all from Chile; then Borges, as poet and prose writer. The beatniks in general: Ginsberg, Burroughs, then Brautigan, Whitman, Ignatow. And as I said, Bukowski. I am probably forgetting many of them.

Your poems chosen for PIW focus on themes of belonging (e.g. ‘I went up to the Land of Israel’, ‘Suitcase’) and outsiderness (e.g. ‘Antipoetry’ and ‘Beans with Tabasco Sauce for Breakfast’). Can you comment on these motifs within your own poetry?

This is definitely the recurring theme in my writings. It spreads all over, from being an outsider as a Jew, or as a writer (and Edmond Jabes would say that every writer is a Jew) to feeling like a different kind of Jew and not really part of the mainstream of Judaism: that is being a Sephardic Jew. Maybe that’s what poetry is about: being outside, being different and writing a different poem.

Your work will be published on PIW alongside Esther Raab’s writings. Although Raab is considered to be the first female and Hebrew/native poet of (pre-state) Israel, she can also be viewed as somewhat of an outsider. What are your thoughts about this and about her writing? (Are all poets perhaps ‘outsiders’?)

I read Raab a long time ago and frankly she did not make much of an impression on me. I don’t think she is really an outsider; her books were in stores back in the 1980s. Maybe I was not impressed because I don’t like landscape poems. I also do not like early Israeli poetry before Zach, Avidan and Amichai. I think that in most cases the poets were trying to find a language, a Hebrew that they could hardly handle. That surely includes Bialik and Alterman. I consider Avidan to be the first great poet of the Modern Hebrew language, and the first sabra to write poetry. I am not saying Raab is not a good poet, but her influence was minimal. But this leads me to an interesting observation made by Professor Shlomo Elbaz, who noticed how many women poets there are in Israel. And although the boys play the big ego game, we have Lea Goldberg, great and important poets like Zelda, Yona Wallach, Amira Hess, Hedva Harkavi and countless other women poets in the first league of Israeli poetry. I don’t see that many in Spanish or French or British poetry; the USA fares better, but even a world leader in poetry like Chile has one Mistral compared with dozens of male major poets. I think this would be a good subject for a PhD. Compared to most countries I know the situation is unique.

As for outsiders: in Israel 20,000 poetry books are sold yearly. This means that poetry is the outsider. Not the poets. I don’t see myself as more of an outsider and I have had my share of recognition; 20,000 books is like one prose bestseller and many novels sell even more. So, a poet who has published a few books and has a hundred readers can consider himself recognized. More so if a dozen articles have been written about him. As a novelist I am marginalized, but that’s another story. And a long one.

What are your thoughts about the Josephus book, the history book written by Josephus in 70 AD? You recently wrote about a new Hebrew translation in the Haaretz newspaper.

I reread the book and wrote about it with the feeling that it was in fact completely irrelevant to our political reality of today. This must seem obvious to any European, but the problem is that in Israel there is a gap in political time; in every discussion someone tries to compare today’s political situation with something that happened 2000 or 3000 years ago in Judea or in this part of the world.

You are bilingual in Spanish and Hebrew, and very proficient in English. Do you feel some things are easier to write about in Hebrew and other things in Spanish? In other words, how does your multilingualism manifest itself in your life as a poet and in daily life?

I have written poetry in three languages and that’s not something I would recommend to anyone. It was a poetic need. It came out of the poems. I started writing poetry in English when I was 15, and did it for four years. Then I switched to Hebrew, for the next 20 years. Then I moved to Spanish because there were things that could not be written in Hebrew. Language not only describes or represents reality, it also creates it. And Modern Hebrew is a language that has created a totally different Jewish Moroccan from the one I know; there are many ways to describe the Moroccan in Modern Hebrew and almost all of them are negative. And I could not change the whole of the Hebrew language, or cope with it. So the need for Spanish was a linguistic need and also a social need. A line like “I am an exiled Moroccan poet” (from one of my poems) could not be written in Hebrew. It took me eight years to translate it, and even now I am attacked for writing something so obvious. A Moroccan in Israel has to thank Zionism for saving him from a terrible life and fate, so the question of being an exile outside the understanding of Israeli society. I should thank everyone every day for having been saved and converted to the new Zionist-Judaism, and to ultra new Judaeo-Christianity, which is the same thing.

So my poetry is definitely different or I am even a different poet when I write in different language. Spanish is my mother tongue and my historic tongue, since this language has been spoken by family over the last thousand years, Hebrew is the language of my oppression, and for the fight against this oppression; it’s a father tongue, a male phallic chauvinistic tongue, but it is also the sacred tongue, the tongue of the temple, somewhere deep inside. English is a kind of neutral tongue, and also the tongue of the empire, it’s all over and I often use it when the other two conflict with each other or for more philosophical poems.

In my everyday life I live in Hebrew, with some French too because my wife is French, and we have many French friends, although I speak Spanish with my mother, and with some of my family too. And in Israel there is always some English in everyday life, since there are many tourists in the city, as well as many American and English immigrants who don’t bother to learn Hebrew, because they don’t have to.

How do you reflect on your linguistic identity and how do you perceive your cultural identity?

I see myself as some kind of disappearing species. I see myself as a Karaite in the 18th or 19th century, like a member of a sect; the Karaites were the mainstream of Judaism in the 12th century and now there are may be 1000 of them left. Since the 16th century Ashkenazíc Judaism has dominated the Jewish world. Israel was an anomaly during the 1980s when there was a majority of Sephardic Jews, but now they are maybe 40% (since the big Russian emigration) and most are trying to be like the image of the new Jew that was imposed on them by Zionism. I think that the Sephardic Jew is disappearing from the world. Ruth Knafo-Setton sent a few stories to a Jewish magazine in the US and they told her that her stories were nice but that she should write about “real Jews”. Moroccan Jews are not “real” Jews; they are some kind of folklore. Since most of my novels are about Moroccan Jews, I guess they are not “real” Israeli or Jewish novels. The Moroccan Jew has become fiction in the Jewish consciousness.

How do you envisage the future of your children in terms of culture? Do you feel they fit into society in Israel?

I don’t really know. Israel is a country in a state of change. It’s very dynamic and it is hard to say where it will be in a year. I have tried to pass on part of my history and heritage to my children, although this is not very simple, since school texts contradict all that I say to them. I am only one against a big system, and it’s a battle I cannot win. Maybe I can lose it with some dignity and save something from my past that will go on in future generations. As it is, my descendants will probably think that I came to Israel from a cave in Africa. That’s more or less the concept of the Sephardic Jew.


Lucy Pijnenburg

testimonio de Julia Cortez, de Guatemala



ver enlace:

"Los delitos de genocidio

no pueden quedar impunes"

En el día internacional de los derechos humanos,

Julia Cortez, presidenta de la AJR de Guatemala

reivindica la memoria de las víctimas de los

gobiernos militares

PATRICIA CAMPELO Madrid 11/12/2010 12:55 Actualizado: 11/12/2010 14:20

Julia, presidenta de la Asociación Justicia y Reconciliación (AJR).

Julia, presidenta de la Asociación Justicia y Reconciliación (AJR).Patricia Campelo

Julia es una mujer valiente y sosegada. Lo dice la impávida expresión de su rostro y sus manos pequeñas con las que acompasa cada palabra que pronuncia. Se define con humildad como "una ama de casa" que trabaja las tierras que dan de comer a su familia y retiene el dato sobre su labor de militancia hasta que no se le pregunta directamente.

Julia Cortez Tecú es la presidenta de la Asociación Justicia y Reconciliación (AJR), entidad invitada por la Fundación Paz y Solidaridad (CCOO) para que den a conocer en España el trabajo que desarrollan en Guatemala en el ámbito de los derechos humanos y de la recuperación de la memoria histórica.

Con motivo del Día Internacional de los Derechos Humanos, Julia, en representación de la AJR, ha tenido la primera oportunidad de visitar España y conocer a miembros de las asociaciones de memoria, integradas en la Plataforma contra la Impunidad del Franquismo, con quienes se ha reunido para compartir experiencias y plantear posibles modos de colaboración.

Víctima del genocidio

La circunstancia familiar llevó a la presidenta de la AJR a emprender el camino de la militancia en los derechos humanos. Es hija y hermana de dos víctimas del genocidio maya que asoló Guatemala durante la conflicto armado interno que desangró el país entre 1960 y 1994, y que alcanzó su mayor punto de brutalidad en la década de los 80.

"Trabajamos por las víctimas de los años 80 a 1996 porque fueron años muy duros, donde no se respetaban los derechos fundamentales", rememora Julia, quien subraya que es el momento de que los que sobrevivieron a la tragedia busquen justicia y "que no queden impunes los delitos".

El gobierno entregó viviendas defectuosas a víctimas del genocidio para reparar su dañoEl testimonio de la presidenta de la AJR es el de una mujer que no tiene miedo, a pesar de las represalias que existen en su país contra quienes militan en defensa de la justicia.

Recuerdo colectivo

En Rabinal recuerdan cada una de las fechas en que se masacraron a sus seres queridos. La AJR, formada por 300 miembros, realiza 22 conmemoraciones al año en las cinco regiones donde desarrolla su labor.

El trabajo que realizan por "recordar y no olvidar" lleva a las víctimas a organizar actos, desde hace diez años, en colaboración con otras comunidades afectadas por la represión de los gobiernos militares, y, de esta manera,construyen su duelo de manera colectiva: "Una vez al año hacemos un encuentro con otras comunidades con las que compartimos el dolor por la pérdidas de nuestros familiares", relata Julia.

Los paralelismos con el movimiento ciudadano de la recuperación de la memoria histórica en España son más que evidentes. "En el año 2000 comenzó la asociación porque empezaron a producirse las primeras exhumaciones", señala la activista sobre lo que fue el cumplimiento, por parte del Estado guatemalteco, de una de las recomendaciones que le hizo la Comisión para el Esclarecimiento Histórico (CEH), al amparo de las Naciones Unidas, tres años después de finalizar el conflicto armado.

A pesar de los mecanismos de la comunidad internacional para lograr verdad, justicia y reparación "el Estado no ha hecho lo suficiente", denuncia Julia, quien confía en que un nuevo cambio que se dará pronto en el Ministerio Público, "retome su causa y pueda hacerse justicia". Asimismo señala que parte de la reparación insuficiente del Gobierno de Guatemala consistió en "levantar unas casas para las víctimas que pasados unos tres años se venían abajo".

Visibilizar el genocidio

Dar a conocer la historia hace que no vuelva a repetirse". La líder de AJR conoce bien la máxima de Churchill que repite con frecuencia porque considera muy importante que "los testigos del genocidio certifiquen lo que pasó y que no se olvide".

Transmitir la memoria histórica a los jóvenes es una tarea vital que la asociación no ha descuidado. "Por lamentable que sea lo que pasó, no podemos esconder la historia a la juventud aunque - reconoce Julia- hay historias horribles que no se han contado por la dureza de su relato".

Un mural con 2000 fotos recordó a los muertos y desaparecidos el pasado noviembreConsciente de las críticas que suscita su compromiso social, responde a quienes tratan de acallar a los militantes de AJR aduciendo que "tanto recordar, acabará repitiéndose la tragedia". "Dando a conocer la verdad, concienciamos a los jóvenes para que no repitan los errores del pasado", insiste.

Uno de los recursos que utiliza esta entidad es el de la "memoria fotográfica". El pasado noviembre, más de 2.000 nombres y fotografías de mujeres, hombres, ancianos y niños asesinados por militares entre 1981 y 1982, llenaron la pared de un cementerio de Rabinal en un acto simbólico "por el recuerdo y la dignidad" de las más de 200.000 víctimas entre muertos y desaparecidos que dejó el conflicto, según el informe de la CEH.

Difícil reconciliación

La AJR busca "que no queden impunes los responsables de torturas, asesinatos, violaciones y demás agresiones terribles" y reconoce Julia que la "reconciliación" que la propia asociación lleva por nombre es un concepto que a ella le cuesta mucho asimilar. "Reconciliar es algo que no podremos hacer".

Esta campesina y ama de casa encuentra un punto de satisfacción en su lucha al sentir que lleva consigo "la memoria" de sus "seres queridos" y quecontribuye activamente a "visibilizar lo que sucedió", como superviviente de una tragedia que la llevó cuatro años a vivir en la montaña.

"No se puede esconder la historia, por lamentable que fuera""Tras la masacre del 15 de septiembre de 1980 a los campesinos de mi región, tuvimos que refugiarnos en las montañas para salvar la vida", un lugar en el que asegura no haber visto "a ningún guerrillero". "Los soldados nos acusaban de ser la guerrilla, pero vivíamos allí solo para defender nuestras vidas".

Como prueba que refuta sus palabras, Julia esgrime un último argumento: "En las exhumaciones de aquellos campesinos no apareció ni una sola arma de fuego".

El cuerpo de la hermana de la presidenta de la AJR fue hallado recientemente. El de su padre, en cambio, continúa buscándolo. Ambos fueron asesinados durante el exilio interior que vivieron huyendo de los militares.


entrevista a Antonio Ballesta Martinez, por Eduardo Montagut-Contreras

Una vida tras Mauthausen

Antonio Ballesta Martínez, último alicantino superviviente del campo de concentración nazi, cumple el domingo 100 años

S. N. - Alicante - 09/12/2010

"El hombre no es malo por naturaleza". El aserto es de una persona que ha sufrido en carne propia el más horroroso ejemplo de escarnio, vejación y tortura del hombre sobre el hombre: El campo de concentración nazi de Mauthausen-Gusen. Antonio Ballesta Martínez ha sobrevivido a esa brutal experiencia y el domingo cumplirá 100 años. Una larga vida que le ha convertido en el último alicantino vivo que sobrevivió al infierno nazi.

La entidad cívica Alicante Vivo ha desvelado el secreto de Antonio Ballesta. Hasta ahora, según los datos facilitados por el colectivo, se creía que el último alicantino superviviente al campo de concentración había sido José Forne Navarro, fallecido en abril de 2007 a los 91 años. Juan José Amores, portavoz deAlicante Vivo, señaló ayer que tuvo conocimiento de la historia de Antonio Ballesta por su enfermero. "Hablamos con él y corroboramos su veracidad", dijo.

El casi centenario Ballesta alcanza este título de último superviviente a Mauthausen de Alicante por las casualidades de la vida. Oficialmente, Antonio Ballesta había muerto en el campo de concentración. Su nombre integraba la lista, por orden alfábético, de todos los alicantinos asesinados en el campo nazi. "Baix Segura. Albatera. Ballesta Martínez, Antonio. Nacido en el 11 de diciembre de 1910, procedente del Stalag XI-B, donde tenía el número 87328. Murió en Gussen el 3 de septiembre de 1942", recoge la lista.

Pero en realidad Antonio no murió. Al contrario, fue otro alicantino, Rafael Millá, hijo del último alcalde republicano de Alicante, el fusilado por los nazis. Ambos habían intercambiado su identidad días antes.

Ballesta es hijo de una familia humilde, radicada en el barrio alicantino de San Blas. El inicio de la Guerra Civil marcó su destino. Como miembro de la Guardia Republicana, su primer destino fue Arganda para acabar en Barcelona, desde donde partió al exilio francés. Allí, se unió a la Resistencia gala, pero tras ser esta doblegada por el ejército alemán, en junio de 1940, cayó prisionero de Hitler.

Primero fue conducido a Belfort, donde acordó intercambiar la identidad con Rafael Millá. "Llamaron a Rafael y me presenté yo", declara Antonio al colectivo. Luego fue subido a un tren rumbo a Mauthausen. "Allí, me enteré de que Rafael había muerto", relata. Su compañero falleció con la identidad cambiada y así quedó registrado.

Los recuerdos de Antonio sobre su estancia en Mauthausen son estremecedores: "Si dejábamos una arruga en la cama, nos daba 25 azotes, y si decían tu número y no respondías, te molían a palizas", comenta. "La sopa, el pan, la mantequilla... aquello era oro", añade.

Antonio sobrevivió hasta la liberación del campo por los Aliados. Hasta la muerte Franco estuvo afincado en Francia, y hace unos años regresó a Alicante, a su casa de San Blas. A las puertas del centenario, Antonio está delicado de salud, pero mentalmente sigue activo: "Está aprendiendo inglés, para sumarlo a las otras cuatro lenguas que habla", señaló ayer un familiar.

Cuando se le pregunta por su experiencia en Mauthausen dice: "He visto la cara de la maldad". Alicante Vivo solicita al Ayuntamiento que le rinda un homenaje.

Del enlace:

memoria y accion: Diana Wang y los sobrevivientes de la Shoa

http://www.dianawang.net/blog/2003/06/15/silencio-y-palabras-sobrevivientes-de-la-shoa-en-argentina/

Theoretical Perspectives on Displacement

Hommi Bhabha, an interview. Mohanty, S. (2005),


Towards a global cultural citizenship: http://www.hindu.com/lr/2005/07/03/stories/2005070300020100.htm


stories/2005070300020100.htm




Galasinski, D. & Jaworski, A. (2003):
http://cardiff.ac.uk/encap/resources/publications/jaworski-adam/papers/galasinski%20and%20jaworski%202003.pdf



Mariou, E. (2003), :





Pavlenko, A. (1997), "To Speak a Foreign
Language is to Depart from Yourself" :
webs.uvigo.es/ssl/actas1997/01/Pavlenko.pdf


Pavlenko, A. , Narrative Study: Whose Story Is It,
Anyway?
http://ld-sig.org/files/Pavlenko_TQ36.2.pdf


Turcotte, G. (2004), Persistence of Vision:
http://works.bepress.com/gturcotte/7/


Colombi Nicolia, Beatriz (2006), El viaje y su relato:

http://redalyc.uaemex.mx/pdf/640/64004302.pdf

testimonios historicos: Ana Rodríguez Bolaños, por Eduardo Montagut Contreras

'Después de que la raparan y le dieran aceite de ricino, la callaron para siempre'

Escrito por: Eduardo Montagut Contreras el 09 Dic 2010 - URL Permanente

Se llamaba Ana Rodríguez Bolaños. En la foto se la ve en la puerta de su casa en

Zalamea la Real, en la cuenca minera de Huelva, rodeada por su marido y sus

cinco hijos. Reina la República y ella aún es joven. Tiene una expresión tranquila

y su pelo largo recogido en un moño al aire. Hay que imaginársela, muy poco

después, en 1937, con la cabeza cubierta con un pañuelo para ocultar la infamia.

Durante la represión desatada en la retaguardia franquista, se la llevaron un día

de su casa para darle un escarmiento.

Como a miles de mujeres en España, le raparon el pelo y le hicieron tragar aceite

de ricino para que se le descompusiera el vientre. «'Toma, que te has cagado

delante de la gente'; lo que se trataba era de humillarlas». Sus nietos Juana

y Manuel Ramírez Domínguez cuentan que ese episodio traumatizó a su abuela y

marcó a la familia, que emigró a Sevilla, donde aún residen.

Su abuela Ana no pertenecía a ningún partido o sindicato de izquierdas, pero se

rebelaba en la vida cotidiana. Como cuando fue al colegio de sus hijas y le dijo a

la maestra «menos rezar y más darles de leer, que es lo que hace falta», o cuando

se negó a que su hija Encarna (madre de Juana y Manuel) trabajara de criada en la

casa de un «señorito» local y prefirió que se colocara con los ingenieros ingleses de

las Minas de Riotinto. Bastó ese «hacerle un feo» para «señalarse».

«Después de eso, la callaron para siempre. Se quedó traumatizada para toda su

vida», dice Juana. Ana sufrió depresiones hasta su muerte en 1979, con 85 u 86 años.


La noticia, y con vídeo, en:

http://www.elmundo.es/elmundo/2010/12/06/andalucia_sevilla/1291657756.html

testimonial of Guadalupe Perez-Anzaldo

A Life Among Many Others

Literature has always played a pivotal role in my life. I was born and raised in Mexico City. Despite the fact that my father was a truck driver and my mother was a housewife, they used to collect and read a variety of novels. When I was thirteen, my mother lost all her vision as a result of her diabetes and I felt that by reading to her I could still help her perceive those images of the world that she would not be able to see anymore. I used to sit on her bedside almost every evening and read to her novels translated into Spanish such as: The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper, Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, and Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë, among others. From my mother I learned how to read aloud using different voice intonations in order to call the attention of my audience. She also taught me to pay attention to the correct spelling of words and the grammar in Spanish. But most importantly, she reinforced my love for reading and the excitement in learning something new every day. Unfortunately, she did not have more time left to share with me since she died when she was only forty five years old.

Through those formative years, I learned that heroines did not only exist in novels; on the contrary, they are real and live among us. We only need to open our eyes and see them. They are here because every day, everywhere, people are making heroic acts. Our heroes are of flesh and bone! I was lucky to have met very interesting women who became role models for me: my older sisters Maria and Consuelo. They were rebellious women and left my father's home at a very young age looking for more opportunities. More importantly, they wanted to at least be able to decide for themselves what they really wanted to do. It is not easy to survive a patriarchal society where women in general were marginalized and did not get their right to vote until 1953. The early eighties were still a very difficult time period for a woman to be accepted

as an independent individual. In this case, my sisters were able to rent an apartment and finance their education thanks to a job they got in a factory where they worked eight hours per day.

My father was so mad at them that he prohibited me to contact them again. For me, those were the most difficult years of my life because of the fact that I was the only woman living with very controlling men: my father, my grandfather, and two brothers. When I asked my father for his permission to continue my education after I graduated from junior high he said: “there is scientific evidence that a woman’s brain is smaller than that of men, so how do you expect to excel in school if you do not have the brain? Besides, school is a luxury you cannot afford, the only possibility for you is to earn your own money to pay for your expenses and obviously you are not capable of doing so.” Then he demanded me to become a modern “Cinderella” by cleaning his house, doing the laundry, ironing their clothes, and cooking. After so much insistence from my part, he gave me his permission to attend a public high school on the condition that I completed all my daily chores before it was school time.

Although it was not an easy transition for me, I attended one of the best public high schools in Mexico City. My sisters were often assisting me with food or money and they persistently encouraged me not to give up on my education. In those high school years I read some of the works of classic authors such as Homer, Cicero, Horace, etc.; Golden Age Spanish writers such as Calderón de la Barca, Quevedo, Luis de Góngora, among others; world Science Fiction, Aldous Huxley, Ray Bradbury; as well as some Mexican novelists such as Juan Rulfo, Carlos Fuentes, Gustavo Sainz, etc. Definitely, all those authors were inspirational and helped me open my mind to new perspectives and ideas. I am now certain that this was a decisive experience in my life because I learned the basis on how to become an analytical thinker. Then I started questioning womens’ role in Mexican society. I observed that there were many young women attending this public school solely because they were planning on “catching a big fish,” in other words, to get married to a rich or at least “good” husband. They thought a man who attended school was more likely to become a respectful and approachable husband. Sadly, I learned that was only a theory because, in reality, most men were insecure and did not like to marry a woman with a mind of her own who can represent a competition for them. This made it extremely common during the late eighties for women to abandon their careers, get married, and get pregnant at a very young age; however, it was not the case with either my older sisters or mine.

After I graduated from high school, I planned to finish a technical, and more practical, career in order to be able to finance my higher education. I was admitted to a prestigious institution, which was financed entirely by the Mexican government. When I completed my career as a secretary, I was offered a position to one of the official branches, equivalent to the IRS in the United States. There I learned, first hand, how corrupt and inefficient official workers were (and continue to be). I remember I was so bored when talking to other secretaries because their conversations always centered on the current episodes of the most popular soap operas in television. It seemed that they did not really care about people paying their taxes for them to be able to earn their wages. At first I escaped from that absurd reality by reading my favorite novels, but once my supervisor noticed I devoted most of my time to this activity, he said to me: “I do not feel comfortable seeing you just seated in your desk reading all those books, I prefer to see you talking to other women, walking or eating rather than doing what you like to do.” That was when I decided to move on.

When I was admitted to the National Autonomous University of Mexico (UNAM), I was excited and nervous at the same time. I knew it was one of the biggest challenges for me because of its reputation as being one of the best universities in the world. Although it is a free institution (there are no tuition or enrollment fees, just a symbolic $20 gesture), it is very difficult for the majority of students to complete satisfactorily their education. The cost of books, transportation, and daily expenses are key factors for a student to abandon his/her goal of pursuing a higher education. Unfortunately, I became part of those desertion statistics. My father was continuously pressing me to abandon school; he kept saying I should be satisfied with my technical career and should save my earnings to pay my own apartment. He even prohibited me to eat at home the food that he and my brothers had bought with their efforts. He blamed me for becoming as rebellious and subversive as my older sisters and assured me he was not going to tolerate my insubordination. One day he told me he was certain I was never going to get married because no man, in his five senses, would like to marry a brainless woman like me, and I replied to him: “Well, if that man is going to be as macho as you and my brothers are then you are right, I will never get married.” Happily for me, I met the most “feminist” man in the world, Demetrio Anzaldo-González and a few months later I married him when I was twenty-two years old.

Financial hardships were always a constant in my married life and my husband and I were forced to leave behind our professional careers. We both had intended to become journalists and were in the final year to finish our goal when I got pregnant. Since our combined wages were not enough to sustain a family, my husband was determined to look for new opportunities to improve our social status. He moved to the United States planning to stay only three months; the time he supposedly needed to earn enough money to start a lucrative business in Mexico. As a former migrant worker, he was granted amnesty during the late eighties. Afterward, my son and I moved to this country as well. While it was a very complicated situation for all of us, due to the fact that we didn't have a relative or a friend whom we could trust nor did we know how to speak English at all, we managed to overcome all obstacles.

My husband and I were fortunate to meet an excellent person and better friend, Mr. Benjamin Andrade who informed us about the possibility to attend a community college. He insisted it was vital for us to acquire the English language skills in order to succeed in this society. It was a surprise for us to find out how students in this country were rewarded just by obtaining excellent notes. This crucial fact motivated us to finally move ahead in our education. My husband devoted his time to excel in all his classes, to work as a gardener to support his little family, and to spend some time with us. We both were attending the University of California, Riverside, but we were never enrolled in the same course at the same time. As an undergraduate student, I felt alienated and lonely because of my personality and/or physical appearance: African-American and White American women did not want to talk to me arguing it was very difficult for them to understand my accent; most Mexican-American women considered me too old to get along with them and I was also rejected since I did not have the ability of code switching (combining both languages, Spanish and English, in my speaking); and Mexican women simply did not accept me because I was not a traditional Mexican woman.

When my husband completed his B.A. he was accepted into the University of California, Irvine. By receiving an excellent scholarship, our economic situation improved. The second time I got pregnant, I decided to wait a year before continuing my studies. I applied to the same graduate school my husband was attending and I was also admitted. I had the idea that being with him things would be easier for me, but most of the people I met there refuse to consider me as an equal: they always referred to me as “Demetrio’s wife” and did not even care about using my own name. In particular, I remember one classmate who once told me: “Your husband is avery smart student, and I’m surprised you are not as smart as him.” The worst experience came when I completed my Masters Degree. I was not able to celebrate this because my older sister, Juanita, died due to Diabetes. I then went to talk to my academic advisor and when I asked him if he could help guide me to request a leave of absence since I was emotionally impacted for this loss, he told me, “Guadalupe, when you agreed to study at this institution, you knew this required a lot of work from the students, and now you’re making excuses. Your husband is about to get his P.h.D. and he will probably be offered a very good job position. So why are you suffering here when you could just stay at home and take care of your children?” I was shocked to hear his “advice”, however that made me try even harder to prove everyone wrong. A few years later, I finally completed my P.h.D.

I decided to write my dissertation on Jewish-Mexican Women Writers. I chose this topic because I considered them to be as marginal subjects such as myself. Their families had immigrated to a country where the majority of people speak a different language than theirs and practiced a different religion. These writers illustrated their fascinating stories about family sagas that, in some ways, were similar to many Mexicans immigrating to the U.S. I also found out that there was discrimination against them even from within the Jewish communities because they were feminists trying to gain recognition in society. Their society is also very patriarchal and does not allow women to have much freedom. The Orthodox Jewish faction, especially, denies women their rights by believing they are dirty and inferior to men; that is the reason why they are not allow to even touch their Torah (their sacred book). One writer, in particular, named Sara Levy-Calderón was forced to hide her real identity by using a pseudonym. She was then exiled to the U.S. because her father, a prominent entrepreneur in Mexico, as well as the Azkenazi Jewish community were ashamed of her openly expressed lesbianism. During this research process, I was also shocked to discover that lesbianism was also a cause of censorship in the U.S. as it happened in the case of Anne Frank. Schools in this country have censored some parts of her diary which deals with lesbianism and sexuality.

I am proud to say my dissertation has been published as a book. That has been one of my greatest accomplishments, but certainly not the last. After all the challenges in my life, people have learned to recognize my work and my persistence. My father, for example, asked me to make copies of my publications since he is planning to read them all. He has finally seen me as a knowledgeable woman with talent. Of my two rebellious sisters, only one, Consuelo, has finished her Masters Degree in Psychology and she was nominated as the Woman of the Year in the institution where she works in, southern Mexico. We are a rare statistic, but I am confident there will be many more opportunities for women like us. It has been a pleasure to share with you some fragments of my life. I aspire to inspire other women to pursue a higher education. These kaleidoscopic episodes can be seen as a prism where others can successfully see themselves because women of past and present generations are an important part, the most important part, in our ever changing society.